I Can, Vol. 2
Since my first installment of "I Can" went over so well (people like positivity, I guess. Who knew?!), I'm going to go ahead and keep feeding you things I Can until I revert back to I Can'ting. So, on the list of things I'm able to handle this week we have:
I can...
with gojane.com. It's a really random, seemingly sketchy shoe shop, but any pair of whatevers I've ordered from them have been nothing but great. And believe you me, I've ordered one of everything: sneakers, flats, heels. My latest purchase arrives Friday and is giving me spontaneous sweats and shakes at the idea of putting them on my feet. I've been after an open-toe, chunky heel situation and, for $22, these were a no-brainer. Jesus, that sounded so fashion-bloggery. FARTS.
I can...
tell you all with absolute certainty that T.Swift is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad lay. I know it deep within my bones.
I can...
with my $35, perfect smoothie machine that doubles as the best food processor ever. It's called the Ninja Master Prep, and it has made chopping vegetables and choking down protein powder so much more of a pleasant experience for me. It's simple as shit to operate, even easier to clean, and is really fun to use. Forget your tired blenders and Nutribullets of yesteryear — the Ninja is where it's at!
I can...
see why people become TV-watching sloths, and thank myself every day for getting rid of cable two and a half years ago. I typically don't miss it or really even think about it, but when you're at your S/O's house on a Saturday morning and are flipping around on the tube and land on HGTV and see Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna... you remember just how easy it is to get sucked in, never to return. I could sit/half-lay and watch them transform houses in Waco, Texas with shiplap and repurposed wood and kitchen island's FOR HOURS. I COULD WATCH THAT SHIT FOR EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT. DARE ME. I LOVE YOU, CHIP AND JO. PLEASE FLIP ME A HOUSE. I'LL MOVE TO WACO. MATCH.COM'S WRITER NEEDS A LOVE BUNGALOW. IT'S THE PERFECT STORY. LET'S SELL IT IN. YOU BRING THE SHIPLAP, I'LL BRING THE PERFECT ON-CAMERA REACTIONS.
I can...
realize when I've lost it, and I apologize for the above outburst.
I can...
mention Lauren Lapkus's podcast for the 100th time on here, but I can't make you listen to it. But you should. Especially the most recent episode in which her guests parody Fixer Upper but call it FixHER Upper with Chap and Joyanna — they fix houses but also the upper-half of females.
https://soundcloud.com/with-special-guest-lauren-lapkus/don-fanelli-and-laura-willcox-fixher-upper-with-chap-and-joyanna
I can...
openly admit that I am that asshole who didn't watch any of GOT this season (I've watched every other season, for clarification) for no reason other than I've been trying to finish Mad Men, and also social media basically let me know what happened every single week on GOT so why bother? But that, last night, my boyfriend wanted to watch the finale, and I pulled a skip-to-the-end move and just watched it with him. I know, I know. It was wrong of me. And I'll go back and watch the season in its entirety, but it's done. I did it and OMG THE FINALE THOUGH. THE. FINALE. THOUGH. Too much. So much. All of it. Yes.
I can...
share with you all that the depth of PMS-hunger I'm experiencing currently is so deep, so primal that all I want to do is rip apart an animal I shot with an arrow out in the woods with my own bare hands. THAT'S the kind of hunger I am feeling and cannot seem to satiate no matter how many carbs and snacks I eat. I want to literally cannonball into a pool full of rigatoni and bolognese and not come up for air until it's gone. I want to get two burritos, one for now and one for an hour from now. I want to order a pepperoni pizza with a side of ranch and eat it so aggressively, I look like a rabid dog. I want to be presented with a bowl of queso so big, it takes up the entire table. I then want to face plant into that bowl of queso. I want to hump flour tortillas. That's where I'm at right now.
I can...
switch gears at the drop of a hat, and I'll prove it after that last tirade. Today, June 29, marks a full YEAR of me doing BBG. One friggin' fuckin' year. I am in shock, honestly. I've never stuck with working out this long, and I can honestly say it has flown by. Last year on this day, I began my sweaty, breathy, smelly journey with Kayla Itsines' program. My best friend urged me to do it by propositioning it as such: "Do it for 4 weeks. No excuses. Give it your all for the next 4 weeks, and then let's reassess and see how you're liking it and where you're at." Well, needless to say but I'm still gonna say it, I saw what had happened for me in a mere month and decided to keep on keepin' on. It hasn't been the easiest, and I've taken a week or two off here and there when life got in the way or I just COULDN'T, but it's become an integral part of my life now and a program I love and look forward to doing and continuing until I can't stand it anymore. I'm about to finish my 4th round of this shit and have a lot to show for it. Not just in how my body has changed, but in how my outlook on fitness and health has changed, how many delightful and delicious meals I've discovered and added to my rotation, and just how much stronger I am in general. I cheat probably every day in some small way — I didn't and don't kill myself over diet, I actually detest that word and term. But I make up for the small cheats in the form of SO MANY VEGETABLE-BASED dishes and, of course, working out 4-5 times a week. Basically, I'm proud and not ashamed of being proud. Here's to actually sticking with shit!
xox,
