fall into fall with emma
i don't know about you guys, but i am so fucking sick and tired of sweating. this summer has been hot - did you notice? i didn't until just yesterday. just kidding - i've been suffering since may, basically. it's amazing i didn't give up mid-june and start a naked revolution in dallas. i'm surprised i've continued to try with outfits, makeup and hair. hey. whadda know?! I CAN DO IT! and by "IT" i mean beat the heat and be decently prestentable until my makeup starts melting off and i awkwardly call myself out like "don't mind me. i'm just gonna stand over here in a pool of my own sweat. you stay over there because i don't want to make anyone uncomfortable with my overt sexuality right now."
but i'm done. i am. i FUCKING REFUSE to stand this heat anymore. i can't do it. this morning, i woke up and was all like "YEAH! I'M GONNA SAY 'EFF YOU, HEAT!' AND WEAR A LONG-SLEEVED SOMETHING!" then i checked weather.com and saw the day's high was 104 and i wanted to take a crap on my iphone. what is this shit? it's SEPTEMBER. september = fall, leaves, back to school, backpacks, notebooks, sneakers, light jackets. i know all you texans are like "really, emma? you're acting surprised?" BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM THAT THIS YEAR WILL BE THE YEAR TEXAS WEATHER IS MORE NORMAL.
i need to move.
but i say SCREW IT. i ain't about to let this week's forecast take a shit on my preemptive parade for fall. i'm ready to get ready for crisp weather and booties. so, with that, i present to you my list of things that make fall so wonderful and all the exciting things we have to look forward to when satan is done ruling mother nature.
ORANGE EVERYTHING!
orange isn't my color, but i pretend it is come fall time. orange represents love, life, holidays and family feuds. you can wear it, eat it, wash your body with it, play with it, watch it and decorate with it. it's the color of pie, the color of your new fashion forward scarf, it's the color OF FALL.
and isn't it grand that "tangerine" is currently considered a key color of the season? if you don't have a piece of tangerine colored something in your wardrobe, i implore you to get on it. if you're terrible at fashion, here are some suggestions:
go here to see exactly what these items are if you're interested in finding out. some are pricey, some aren't. but never fear - you can find fabulous tangerine pieces anywhere: XXI, tobi.com, madewell, nordstrom, maybe even your local thrift store. peel that orange and WEAR it, girlfriend!
PUMPKIN FLAVOR!
something magical happens when starbucks finally pulls the pumpkin trigger for the fall season and fires all over the world are started within hearts, crotches and mouths. the resuurection of pumpkin flavoring means that we, as a general public, have given up on summer and are ready to pretend it's chilly enough outside to sit at one of starbucks' dinky metal tables and sip daintly on a pumpkin-flavored something, ANYTHING. once you see "PUMPKIN NOW AVAILABLE" on any sign anywhere, it is completely acceptable for all of us to follow suit. i don't care if it IS 104 outside for the high, if you have a pumpkin spice latte in your hand, i'm not gonna judge you for wearing a coat.
mmm tastes soooooooooooooooo good. and although pumpkin lattes are the highlight of the season for some, let's not forget the countless other treats that do this flavor great justice! donuts, bread and cupcakes just to name a few (sidenote: i am writing this post in a state of extreme hunger. i can actually feel my fat cells eating each other. i'll let it go for another hour or so).
ya know what? SCREW IT. JUST. THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE:
SCARVES!
yes, i tried and got away with the summer scarf. but fall opens the door to heavier, more appropriate scarves that you otherwise would look insane wearing during these warm summer months (i.e. ones made of wool or basically anything heavier than the thinnest material known to man). i have a ludicrous collection of scarves. it's almost embarrassing. you may see my accumlation and ask yourself, "what is all this? this girl has issues." and maybe i do, but AT LEAST I HAVE SCARVES TO COVER THOSE ISSUES UP.
no, i wasn't in an accident and now have a neck brace. this scarf serves two purposes: to keep me warm and to support my neck without even trying. THICK INFINITE SCARVES FOR LIFE.
what's that? you need a little PATTERN in your life? you like to mix and match? well, howdy dee do, i most likely have the scarf for you! i like patterns.
long, short, patterned or plain - scarves rule my hall closet. they are the kings, queens, jesters and maids of the castle. you may see my vast array of scarves hanging together and think "but they all kinda look similar" and i would say to you seemingly, seemingly. but they are all variations only discernible to an acute observer that reflect the many moods, the many shades, the many sides of Emma Golden. i call this one "morning mist":
BOOTS AND JACKETS!
FUCK YOU, FLIP FLOPS. yes, i will continue to get pedicures on a monthly basis, but you won't be invited to the pedicure party any longer. i may wear you lazily around my apartment, but that's a long shot seeing as though i'll be able to bust THESE babies out instead:
oh, LL BEAN. how you seduce my feet. but enough about slippers. let's talk boots. and jackets. jackets of all shapes and sizes! leather, wool, straight cotton, maybe even some MIXED material jackets? i have a love/hate relationship with jackets and i'll tell you why. on one hand, they are the perfect piece to throw over your entire outfit. you could be wearing a torn-up, paper thin, stained shirt under that jacket and i would have no idea. you know why? because jackets can BE the outfit if you want them to be. that's what's so mystical about them. however, sometimes they can be a little restricting. this is coming from a girl who sweats easily, so if a jacket is a bit too tight or structured, i get claustrophobic and unhinged. only sometimes, though. here are some jackets i have come across online that have caused stirring in my groin:
(after posting this series of jackets, i had a series of minor heart attacks trying to decide whether i should buy the middle one or not. i did. i bought it. hi, my name is emma and blogging causes me to spend money). and as for booties... yes, booties. boots - fine. okay. yes, i like boots. but BOOTIES are always and will always be where it's at, especially for us southerners in these warmer winter climates who maybe only care to suffocate our legs from the ankle down instead of the knee down, OR WORSE, the mid-thigh down (yikes to that notion).
studs are way in. as is leopard (again, always and forever or so it seems). i've also become privvy to the fact that black booties are where it's at this upcoming fall. piperlime.com urges us to "seize the day" with fall boots, but what they don't realize is that their selection of everything makes me half SEIZURE on a daily basis.
like these, for example:
or these (i bought these) (no, not because of my blog. i bought them like a month ago. i swear. also, i plan to wear them naked to bed. they deserve it):
or these completely unfairly priced house of harlow amazing pieces of leather and design (fuck you, nicole richtie. jk. i love you so much):
all of these orgasms and more can be found on piperlime. just be careful or you may end up in a gutter with a cardboard box as a roof, surrounded by really great shoes. actually, that doesn't sound half bad.
BLANKETS AND CUDDLES AND CINNAMON SMELLS!
i don't know. i've hit all my main points, so now i'm just rambling. but all of these things scream "FALL!!!" to me. actually, writing this post has now put me into a depression. i'm expecting to walk outside after i am finished writing and be greeted with a fuzzy blanket, a cup of hot cocoa and this:
but i know deep down, i will be receiving this:
DAMN YOU, SUMMER! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am tired. i am so tired of you and what you do to me. i'm done. you bring nothing but pain to my life. i thought you were the greatest thing when you first came along, but you just got meaner and hotter under the collar by the day and now i can't stand you. you've made me ugly, sweaty and tired most days. sure, we had a few good laughs over summer beer and you saw me in a swimsuit and liked it. but it's over now. it's time we end this thing we call a relationship. and please believe me when i say i've never meant this more...
it's not me. it's you. screw off.
love,
emma
