my list of grievances

as i was sitting at my desk this morning, i started mentally running through the list of food i consumed this weekend and realized...

just in case you were feeling bad about yourself after your weekend actions, allow me to list out for you the things i put into my mouth over the course of about 2.5 days. if the following doesn't make you feel 100% better about the minor mishaps you made this weekend, you better have slept with your best friend's boyfriend or something because not much can get worse than this:

friday -

yay! look at me! i had a piece of grilled chicken with a tiny bit of couscous for dinner! gotta have SOME sort of coating to go out, amiright?! but don't wanna be bloated!

friday, after bar closing hours -

SOMEONE TAKE ME TO GET WHATABURGER IMMEDIATELY. IMMEDIATELY. regular sized burger and a SMALL fry because i'm trying to watch my figure.

saturday -

boat party, you say? that's cool. i say three bags of chips, a hot dog, a hamburger and half a heaping cup of queso... all on my own.

saturday night -

man. i don't think i consumed enough calories today. i should probably order a small pizza, right? right. and eat all of it except for about a piece and a half. perfect. no, this is great. i feel awesome about me.

sunday -

okay. redemption day. i need a semi healthy breakfast. open-faced omelet with 3 pounds of veggies on top? YES. maybe things are turning around for me.

sunday, 11:59pm -

oops. i haven't eaten since that omelet. what is this? I HAVE SHELLS AND CHEESE IN MY HOUSE??????? EXCUSE ME WHILE I MAKE IT AND EAT THE ENTIRE PACKAGE.

so, needless to say, i packed my gym bag, decided i was too tired in general today and wasn't gonna make it to the gym at any point and just forced salad and soup down my depressed throat.

YOLO, RIGHT???

(P.S. if you haven't read this article from Thought Catalog, do so now)

- emma