Before & After: My 1 Year Journey Working With My Personal Trainer
*Trigger warning: This post contains mention of weight loss, nutrition, exercise, etc. If you have struggled with an ED or anything similar, this post may not be helpful for you. For what it’s worth, I want to say this—I know people will see posts like this and say “you were beautiful before!” and “beautiful then and now,” and I AGREE. My fitness journey has been about building confidence and getting strong, not skinny. My mental health has always come first, especially over the past year. I am not advocating that how I looked “before” was bad or wrong; I’m advocating that if getting up and showing up and working your ass off moves you, let it move you and perhaps try to see the physical benefits as a very happy accident. Okay. Carry on.
It was late November. I, for what felt the hundredth time, was going through a shitty breakup with a shitty dude who wasn’t shitty to begin with but ended up being really shitty. I was burnt out on BBG (a program I had been doing over and over for years) and had hung Orange Theory up indefinitely and knew that my inactivity and my inconsistency was creeping up on me quietly but quickly in my waistline, hips, face, and even my mentality. I suddenly hated being naked, which I can confidently tell you has never been an issue in my life. I just wasn’t confident. Between a fresh breakup and being off my active routine, I didn’t like looking in the mirror. I needed a new push but wasn’t sure what that looked like. I knew I hated workout classes, that pilates wasn’t enough, that if I had to do one more 7 min circuit of plyometrics with BBG I would scream, and that I was getting unhappier every day with not having a workout routine to look forward to (I’ve worked out in some form or fashion since college), but I was at a loss.
That’s when my friend told me about @megmo_fit’s free Instagram workouts. She sold me by claiming “I never thought I’d have abs after my daughter was born, but they’re back because of Meg.” So I looked her up and decided to give a few of her free workouts a go. Why not, right? I had nothing to lose and everything to gain (er, wait. I DID have stuff to lose and really didn’t want to gain anymore). After doing just a few of Meg’s workouts, I was hooked. Meg is insanely responsive, too, so any time I posted about doing her workouts and tagged her, she would respond to me, which made me feel good. This gorgeous, stacked personal trainer was engaging with ME?! Wow! I have never in my life worked with a personal trainer. In fact, I’ve always viewed them as the enemy. Like, don’t tell me what to do. Don’t hold me accountable. Don’t yell at me to keep going. HOW DARE YOU? (I’m an Aries). But there was something about Meg that piqued my interest; I wanted to know more about how she worked with clients, especially since most of her clientele is virtual (Meg lives in Florida).
It didn’t take more than filling out her form and her responding to me to say, fuck it. I’m in. And not just in, but ALL the way in. Nutrition, workouts, all of it. And so, on December 9, 2019, I stood in my bedroom in just underwear and a sports bra, set up my tripod, and snapped “day 1” body selfies. And it was terrible.
DECEMBER 9, 2019
Hey, Cece.
Meg and I decided on a check-in day (Mondays) where I would send her my body measurements (NEVER my weight as she doesn’t believe in scales and neither should we, but we’ve been programmed), progress pictures (like the above), and my week in review nutrition-wise and exercise-wise. If you sign up for the full Monty with her, she creates a custom plan for you: custom workouts, custom calorie and macro ranges, etc. I wrote an entire blog about my calorie counting experience back in February and before you come at me, it is literal science that you cannot lose weight unless you are in a calorie deficit. And I wanted to lose weight! And gain muscle! So counting my calories was not only necessary but insanely eye-opening. I also was fucking horrible at it for the first month and a half on my plan with Meg. I can always crush workouts; that’s never been an issue for me. Food and “portion control” is my issue. I am literally a bottomless pit. I’ve always had the appetite of a small beast and can put down some food, no problem. Also, I like to drink. Also, I like to bake. The bottom line is that for the first 6 weeks, I made excuse after excuse and never once hit my calorie range with Meg yet could NOT understand why I wasn’t seeing progress. I even threatened (myself) to quit. You can read all about this, what I wrote to Meg, and how she set me straight in the calorie counting post.
Right when I was getting into the rhythm of nailing my calorie range and workouts, guess who the fuck came to play? COVID-19, THAT MOTHER FUCKER. It’s so weird to think that 80% of the year I’ve worked with Meg has been at home, during a pandemic. Literally from March to now! At first, I was skeptical. I mean, weren’t we all? About everything? I was so bummed out at the idea of not being able to continue with Meg because of the world shutting down and the minimal progress I had finally started making. But as the entire world pivoted, so did Meg and her clientele, and my living room became my MegMo_Fit gym. Truth be told, continuing my plan with Meg has saved my mental health this year. It’s not only given me some semblance of normalcy and routine during a year of chaos and uncertainty, but it’s also given me something to work toward every day (not to mention the live Thursday night workouts we started doing months ago! Those have been the best). Someone asked me this week if I think my progress would’ve looked different if we hadn’t been in a pandemic, and I can confidently say 100% yes. I know I would’ve gotten the hang of it and still had the same results a year later, but I would be lying if I said there wouldn’t have been 1,000 more hurdles with eating out, socializing, etc. Having all that off the table, making more food for myself this year than I ever have while continuously learning about nutrition and trying new recipes, and having next to no excuses to not show up 4-5 days a week to move my body was a game changer. I also met the love of my life this year back in April, so 2020 has done well for me and I have serious guilt about that. But let’s not get into that right now.
DECEMBER 9, 2020
My goal has never been and will never be to get ripped. I’ve had fleeting moments where I was more cut than usual, but for me, that isn’t sustainable. What I can keep up with is daily activity, sweating my tits off, lifting heavier to get stronger, an 80/20 approach to nutrition, and not beating myself up or thinking my life is over when I have an “off” week, stuff my face, or anything of the sort.
Here are my 5 biggest takeaways from the past 365 days of having Meg in my life:
You can have the most amazing trainer in the world, but all he/she can do is provide you the tools. YOU have to use those tools to see results. Just because you sign up for that gym membership or pay a trainer to train you doesn’t mean you’re saved. No one can put the work in but you.
Nutrition is 80% of weight loss and health and it fucking sucks but it’s fucking true. I learned this the hard way (and continue to!) by refusing to stay within my assigned calorie range yet kill myself in the gym and ultimately end up beyond frustrated when not seeing progress. I am no longer counting calories—after a year of being in a deficit, I was understandably burned out so Meg and I decided I should take a tracking break UFN. But when I was and when I was being smart about it (I.e. eating full, whole healthy meals with an equal balance of protein, carbs, and healthy fats), I was indisputably at my healthiest. That said, it’s all a balance. Everything in moderation. Never completely cut something out of your diet. Drink wine. Eat pizza. Bake cookies. Have 3. But be at peace knowing that the more you do that, the slower your progress will be. And if you’re okay with that, OKAY! But if you’re not okay with that but keep doing it and complaining about it, bitch stop.
Working out in just a sports bra is the fucking best. I never did before this year, in the comfort of my home. I was always too self conscious of showing my mid-section and letting it hang out while I stood, sat, crunched, lifted, moved. Now? I hope the post-COVID world is ready for sports bra and leggings only!
THIS IS A MARATHON. NOT A SPRINT. Unless you have a pointed life event that you’re wanting to be in your best shape for, this is your life now. Working out and finding fun ways to work in cardio (Walk At Home, anyone?!) and being very alert as to what you’re putting in your mouth throughout the week isn’t temporary. There is no quick fix. The only way this shit works is if you really and truly commit to consistency. There is no end point. This just is. Your mind and body learn to crave the activity and the whole foods on top of the lazy ass days and the days you finish a bottle of wine or a pint of ice cream or a large, thin crust pizza all in one sitting (ALL OF WHICH HAS HAPPENED WITHIN THE LAST YEAR BECAUSE I’M NOT A MONSTER).
There is no quick fix for long-lasting, sustainable progress and the quicker you come to grips with that, the more success you’ll see. I have fluctuated a lot these past 12 months. In fact, I’m heavier now than I was during the summer. Things fit a bit tighter at the moment. But I still feel fucking incredible. I’m able to see the bigger picture, how far I’ve come, how much I’ve learned, and how I can put all that into practice to nudge myself back on track.
It’s been the shortest and longest 365 days, and I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished. I have never felt healthier, more whole, or stronger. I thank myself for sticking with it, even when I was being stubborn and “not seeing results” because I wasn’t following the plan. I thank Meg for being supportive always and giving it to me straight when necessary. I thank my best friend for telling me about Meg in the first place. I thank all of you guys for showing up to the bi-weekly live IG workouts and inspiring me to keep going. And lastly, I thank Girlfriend for outfitting me in cute bras and leggings the last year and taking all of my money.
xox,
SHOP GIFT GUIDES
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