We are officially 10 months out for our wedding, so I figured maybe now is a good time to start letting y’all in on the process. 10 months is a large amount of lead time, but honestly, it feels like just enough. If you’ve been here, you’ve probably read my post about getting engaged, in which I speak to the fact that I had never imagined my wedding day until now, and that’s the truth. In it, I wrote:

“I need to make something really clear to you guys right now—I have NEVER been that girl who dreams of her wedding day. Ask any of my friends and they will confirm this. Yes, I’ve always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic, but because I’ve also been more or less single for the last decade, the idea of actually meeting a good man who loved me as much as I loved him and wanted to be with me forever was laughable. Therefore, I had no desire to sit around fantasizing about a day that felt basically impossible. All that to say, we are working from scratch over here. I have general ideas of what I like and what I don’t, but no detailed plans on any front.”

After writing this, I promptly hired a planner (who I’ll mention below) and started realizing I actually do have a lot of opinions when it comes to my wedding. WHODUHTHINK?! All that to say, I thought it would be fun and potentially helpful to open the floor for wedding questions, so this Q&A is a result of that. The questions and answers are in no particular order, so just read on through and don’t be shy if you have a more specific question you’d like to ask after reading this post!

wedding planning q&a

Are you and Z doing the planning together?

100%. I made it clear from the jump that I want this to be OUR wedding and OUR ideas come to life. Yes, I’ve had every urge to go full psycho and make 100 plans without consulting Z, but then I come back down to earth.

Thoughts on wedding diets and “shedding for the wedding”?

My feelings on this are very mixed. One day, I’m like come as you are, Emma! The next, I’m like …but I wanna look fucking toned at my wedding. I started back up with my trainer by happenstance a few weeks ago and that will continue up and through our wedding, so that worked out well. If I didn’t have her, I would’ve gotten serious about getting in shape beforehand, for sure. I’ve been very in shape before and know how amazing I felt and know I can get there again and why not get there for such a big day that’s entirely focused on us with 600 pictures being taken?! That said, DO YOU. If you’re lucky enough to be confident and in love with yourself at literally any size or shape, I’m fucking jealous.

Bought my dress, had it altered, and am not feeling it. Start from scratch and get another? Hate wasting $$$

Ok. This is incredibly timely. So, if you’ve been following along, you’ll know that I thought I found the dress at BHLDN in Chicago, but because I wasn’t with my mom, decided to sleep on it. Then, I actually found the dress at the BHLDN pop-up in Dallas (which I went to with my mom), which was completely different than what I thought was my dress back in Chicago. We bought it, it got delivered, I tried it on again at my parent’s house and it’s like my balloon popped. I didn’t feel good in it at all. Any magic I felt that day at BHLDN was nowhere to be found. However, weddings cause anxiety and stress, so I decided it was just in my head and I needed to just focus on really getting going with my MegMo training and not try it on again until spring. And yet. This past Sunday, I tried it on again and literally felt nothing. I wasn’t excited or happy. I didn’t feel beautiful at all, and I was so upset. So, I did the most bride thing I’ve done so far in this process and booked two appointments at local wedding dress stores in Dallas this week to see what else was out there.

I went to a&bé bridal shop on Tuesday by myself so I had no distractions or opinions and only me and my gut to trust and found THE fucking dress. I literally gasped when I saw myself in it. I have never felt so beautiful in my entire life; like, I didn’t even know I was capable of being that stunning, and THAT’S how your wedding dress should make you feel. I made my own damn self cry! It can be a journey, but trust your gut. I’m trying not to beat myself up with negative self-talk like “You psycho. Why’d you even get the original one in the first place?!” but it is what it is. I was excited and swept up and my mom loved it, so I went for it. But the dress I found Tuesday is literally everything I never even thought to dream of, and I cannot wait. I want to wear it every night a la Gilmore Girls.

Tips on trying on dresses when I know I’m not confident with my body right now?

This question ties in so well with both the “shedding for the wedding” question and the monologue I just wrote out for y’all about dresses. Listen, I wasn’t and still am not. But the thing is, I swear to God the right dress makes you forget about ALL of that. I would happily and joyfully get married tomorrow and feel stunning and not think twice about it. There are so many styles to consider, and there is absolutely 100% a specific kind of cut that will be your cut. Example, I hold all my weight in my stomach. I have a nice chest and good shoulders and great legs, but my midsection is a raging fucking bitch. Therefore, something fitted is not my cut. A-line is. Just go into it with as open a mind as you can and try on every cut so you understand what you feel best in!

Open bar with EZ cocktail?

YOU KNOW IT, BITCH! We’ll be working with Herb & Alchemy and will most likely create two custom cocktails, The “E” and the “Z.”

How did you pick your date and venue? Newly engaged and lost at where to start!

For date, I’ve always wanted to be a fall bride. I considered spring because, with a fall wedding, our engagement will be 13 months. BUT, it just felt rushed and not right. Although it’s still hot as fuck in Texas in October, at least we can go with fall colors and vibes! For venue, there’s so much to consider. SO much. Do you want a big blank space, the ease of a hotel, something quirky like a brewery? Do you want it outside or inside? How important is location to you? Do you want to cater in your own food and have free range of vendors or do you want food and beverage built into the venue cost itself? For us, our wedding being in Dallas and in a convenient location for both guests and ourselves was super important. The idea of party buses or other transportation wasn’t appealing, but that’s just us! I would figure out the vibe and location you want first, then go from there. We toured 3 or 4 venues and ended up choosing the one that made my heart skip a beat when my planner showed it to us during our first meeting. Like the dress, it’s a feeling you get. Zac even said “This is perfect. I can feel it in my bones.”

How do you squeeze in planning time throughout the week?

Working for myself makes work/life balance pretty flexible and I’m very grateful for that.

Do you think planning a wedding in November 2022 is too close to start now?

Not at all! I think it’s perfect. You have a solid 11 months. That’s more than enough time, even if your chosen dress takes a minute to be made and shipped. Even if you started really planning in January, you’re good. The only thing to make sure of is vendor availability. If you have your heart set on a particular photographer or catering company or venue, ensure they have your wedding date open!

Are you excited for cake tasting?

You know, I actually am. Zac and I aren’t big cake fans, but just the sheer act of being served lots of cake to taste is exciting. Right now, we’re thinking we’ll do a simple 6-8” cake strictly for the cutting and feeding tradition and have a much more EZ dessert to offer our guests!

Any “rules” or tips for planning a second wedding? I want to elope and avoid people.

Then that’s exactly what you should do, girl.

Hair: Up, Down, Half-Up?

My wedding hair causes me severe anxiety. Any time I’ve entrusted it to a hairstylist when being a bridesmaid, it turns out horrid (as evidenced here), so my trust in anyone being able to professionally work with and style curly hair is non-existent. HOWEVER, the amazing news is that my very own hairstylist agreed to do my wedding hair and she is a curly hair connoisseur, so my anxiety has been eased a bit. I will 100% be wearing it up, probably in a low, romantic, curly bun. It looks best pulled off my face, and I do not want to be freaking out and fucking with my hair down on my wedding day. No thank you.

Bridesmaids dress vibes?

I have left this entirely up to them. All I want for my bridesmaids is to feel stunning. I gave them loose parameters (like floor-length and a color palette), and it’s up to them to find the dresses they feel amazing in.

How did you land on a budget? General or itemized?

My parents said “This is your budget. It’d be cool if you came in under it, though.”

Staying together the night before or separate bedrooms?

Separate rooms for SURE. I’ve spent the night with two of my best friends and my sis before their wedding days and it’s the best tradition. The last time Z will see me is when we part ways after the rehearsal dinner. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

With the “wedding boom,” are you finding it hard to book things?

Actually no, and it had me very concerned. I was freaking out just a little bit. But, we got our venue about a month and a half into being engaged on the date we wanted, so that was huge. And we signed with a photographer this week, who happened to have our date open and it was meant to be. I really think that if you’re supposed to have a certain date, venue, photographer, whatever, then you will. If they aren’t available, you can either get flexible or just say it wasn’t meant to be and move on.

Any honeymoon plans?

Our dream is Italy, but we are so unsure of WTF will be happening with C*VID and travel next fall. We have a lot to discuss.

Who is officiating/how did you ask them?

We have not asked them yet, but plan to very soon. Don’t want to spoil it in case they read this (which they probably definitely don’t).

What are you guys doing for wedding bands?

Z is going for a simple gold band. I am undecided. We will go look in person after the new year, for sure. Because I have baguettes on either side of my diamond, I love the idea of a baguette eternity band, but I have to try things on as I’ve learned! I’ll probably end up with something completely different.

Are you reading your own vows?

100%.

Flowers?!

We’re going heavy on greenery for our wedding. As you all know, Zac is a Plant Zaddy and is going buck fucking wild, and I’m happily letting him take the reins on that. We will have flowers but they’ll serve more as the accent/pop to our greenery. TEEHEE.

Have you figured out shoes and accessories yet?

I haven’t! I have a slight idea for earrings, but no idea on shoes. I just want comfort above all else. I do not want to kill my feet or feel the urge to take my heels off ever. So I’m thinking low, block/chunky heel for sure.

Have you found a photographer?

Yesssssssssss! Wilderlove Co. who came highly recommended. I am beyond excited about Becca.

Are y’all doing a first look?

Yes! I went back and forth on this but ultimately decided it’s a must. It’s the only part of the entire day where Z and I will be alone, just us, focused solely on each other. As much as I love the idea of a big reveal down the aisle, I love the idea of Zac seeing me first in private so much more. Capturing that moment is probably what I’m most excited for. Just thinking about tapping his shoulder to turn around gives me butterflies!

What traditions are you skipping?

Having a bride and groom’s cake. Serving cake to guests, actually. Definitely not doing a garter toss. Those are the main ones I can think of?

Will you incorporate yours or Z’s religious anything into your ceremony?

The jury is out on Z, but for me, yes. We will be getting married under a modern-day chuppah and Z will stomp on glass (which he’s very excited about). Also, we will be lifted in chairs on the dance floor or so help me god…

Will your venue include food/bar or are you bringing that in?

Our venue has their own in-house chef and a built-in bar system, yes. We’ll choose from several options for food and, although we’re in charge of actually physically bringing in the alcohol, their staff will make and serve drinks all night!

Buffet or sit down?

Sit down!

DJ or band?

The one and only DJ Rikki DØNT, my dear friend and very talented emcee.

Color palette?

Jewel tones. Think deep red, emerald green, navy blue, dark purple, dark fuchsia, maybe even some gold.

Will you have a videographer in addition to photographer?

At first we were. Then, upon seeing what today’s “wedding videos” are, Zac nixed the entire idea. It was honestly the funniest reaction I’ve ever seen him have to anything. When he realized that it’s a 7-8m highlight reel tailored for social media, he lost it. He said, and I quote “I don’t wanna be in a fucking music video.” I had never thought of it that way, and it suddenly made so much sense. “I don’t need footage of me putting on my jacket in slow-mo to music, what the fuck? No.” So… no. No videographer. In reality, I wish camcorders were still a thing so my dad could go around all night, capturing raw footage and talking heads. That’s the kind of wedding video we’d want—old school. But I know our photographer will capture every moment and that my friends will take all the video necessary on their phones.

Thoughts on something borrowed/blue/old/new?

I’m sort of into it? But also not thinking too hard about it. Yet.

Three words you’d use to describe the style of your wedding?

Classic, cozy, and vibrant.