I Can't
I regret to inform you that I CANNOT write this week. And I'll tell you why. Because I can't...
even begin to describe to you how perfectly incredible my sister's wedding was over the weekend. My older sister, who is my best friend, married the love of her life and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed (then again, I didn't get to see my dog being birthed out of her mom's dog vagina, so basically the wedding had no competition).
I can't...
function this week so far because this weekend was a whirlwind. I ugly cried so hard one second, and lost my shit laughing the next. I got so happy drunk both nights and barely any sleep. But aren't those the best kinds of experiences? I was making so many messy, disgusting crying noises during the ceremony, I'm surprised I wasn't escorted out or at least slapped in the face mid-ceremony by the Rabbi.
I can't...
believe that, on the rehearsal dinner night, my sister decided around 530am to WALK to the nearest Chicago McDonald's and stuff her bride-to-be face with Egg McMuffins. And that I, being so dead tired, barely tried to stop her and fell back asleep wondering if she'd make it back alive. On that note...
I can't...
believe WordPress just told me "Mcmuffin" was wrong because I forgot to capitalize the second "M." WTF, America?
I can't...
get over how much I love the Sopranos. It's like, I'm fully aware I'm watching television from 12 years ago, but you know shit's good when it's this timeless. And if Lorraine Braco doesn't get justice from her rape incident, I will shit a brick. A BRICK, I TELL YOU.
I can't...
not have that LED light blink when my iPhone gets a notification in any way, shape or form. Yeah, it's blinding and gives me or anyone around my phone mini seizures when it goes off, but being someone who has their phone on silent 97% of the time, it's VERY VERY HELPFUL. I don't know why I just screamed that. I think it's because I wish Lorriane Braco would just fucking tell James G. that she got raped. UGH.
I can't...
deal when I say something serious to someone like "I'm in a terrible mood" or "I was a half hour late to work this morning" and their response is "Uh oh!" UH OH? WHAT? Uh oh??? That's it? That's your initial response? "Oh shit" I get. "Fuck, what's wrong?" is even better. But "Uh oh!" I CANNOT. "Uh oh, Emma Wemma is maddy waddy." CAN'TTTTTTT!
I can't...
write today. I just can't. I'm so tired - my brain and eyes actually hurt. Promise to still love me? I'll leave you with this - this epic picture of the pure beauty that was my sister on her wedding day (on the left. But you can think I'm not ugly, too. I'll allow it).
xox,
emma
