I’ve been writing on my blog for 11 years, and I truly mean it when I say I never thought this would be a post I’d write.

I’m engaged. I’m… engaged? I’M engaged? I’m ENGAGED?

I am. To the love of my life who I never saw coming.

I really have no clue what to include in this post. I’m not sure what kind of details you guys would want to read, so I guess I’ll just tell you whatever I can?

The Ring

Zac and I talked about marriage back in December. At that point, we had been together for 8 months and had danced around the topic but, one night in his living room, it sort of just came up. We agreed we would be marrying each other at some point in our lives. “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED? TO EACH OTHER?” I said half shocked, half excited as I stood awkwardly behind the sofa table that used to cuddle up to the back of his couch. When I told my mom about this exchange, her immediate response was “You better tell him what kind of ring you want.” This was the most foreign sentence she had ever said to me. Ring? Oh, the ring! Right. Wait. I’m supposed to actively talk to him about it? Is that weird or too prescriptive? Does it take the element of surprise out of all of this? How does this work?!

Regardless, I heeded her advice and found a way to ask Zac his opinion about how we’re supposed to discuss the ring. We ultimately agreed that we did not want to go ring shopping together and that I should find time to go on my own and show him ideas. “But go sooner than later because I want you to completely forget about it by the time it happens.” I liked his logic and went the next day. #nochill.

I need to make something really clear to you guys right now—I have NEVER been that girl who dreams of her wedding day. Ask any of my friends and they will confirm this. Yes, I’ve always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic, but because I’ve also been more or less single for the last decade, the idea of actually meeting a good man who loved me as much as I loved him and wanted to be with me forever was laughable. Therefore, I had no desire to sit around fantasizing about a day that felt basically impossible. All that to say, we are working from scratch over here. I have general ideas of what I like and what I don’t, but no detailed plans on any front. In fact, based off how ring shopping went, I think it’s safe to say I’m going to end up with a dress and wedding I would’ve never guessed for myself.

I’ve always admired the most classic engagement ring: gold band with a huge, round, solitaire rock on it. I was sure that’s what I would end up with, but it’s the first style I tried on by myself that day in the ring shop and I hated it. The second ring I tried on was an emerald cut stone with two tapered baguettes on the side and something came over me. I could not stop looking at my hand. I tried on several more rings besides that one, but kept going back to it. I was 99% sure it’s the one I wanted but with a gold band. I came home that day, told Zac I had gone to look at rings (to which he replied, “OMG already???”), and showed him the ones I loved most. He had me email him a few pictures and that was it. We never discussed it again.

THE PROPOSAL

THIS STILL FEELS SO WEIRD TO BE WRITING THIS BLOG. Like, OMG how basic do I sound?!!?!?! Actually, while we’re here, I have to tell y’all that I’ve promptly dropped at least 25 followers since Sunday. And I get it. If you’re a new follower of mine, chances are you’re not here for lovey dovey happiness, and I get that. I also get not being at all interested in engagement/wedding content. It was just interesting to see how quickly people dropped off is all.

Anyway. The proposal. I didn’t know it was going to happen when it did, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell y’all I was hoping it would. The circumstances were just so rare—not only was my sister in town with her wife and my niece and nephew, but my best friends were set to come over for a big brunch we were hosting at our house for my sister’s birthday AND one of my best friends who lives in Louisiana had driven to Dallas for the week to escape Hurricane Ida. That we were all going to be gathered under one roof for the afternoon was just so special and so, yes—deep down, I was hoping maybe this would be the moment but I wasn’t putting money on it. Zac is incredibly thoughtful but also very forgetful. I had to remind him 20 times when my sister would be in town and that we were hosting this brunch that Sunday, so I figured it wasn’t on his radar at all.

And I wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t, at all. However, the universe had our backs regardless. I now know that Zac had gotten the ring in July and hadn’t had a chance to ask for my dad’s blessing just yet. Low and behold, Saturday evening just the two of them went to pick up dinner for the family and Zac asked him then. My dad obviously gave his blessing then immediately followed up about the who/what/where/when/how. Zac explained he was going to plan a fall trip (probably in October) and ask me then. My dad responded, “Why not tomorrow? I mean, we’re all going to be there and we can celebrate.” “Oh. Wow. That’s a great idea,” Zac said. My dad explained that in no way did Zac need do it in front of everyone. He could even ask before guests arrived and we could celebrate then. Zac and I went home later that night. I turned in earlier than him while he stayed up puttering around the house and, unbeknownst to me, deciding how this would go down the next day.

Sunday morning, one of my best friends arrived before everyone else and, when Zac came out of the bedroom to greet her, I commented on his outfit. “You don’t wanna wear a collar?” I suggested bossily (I am who I am). Kelley interjected, “Aw, he looks cute!” “Thank you,” Zac said directly to Kelley. “This is actually what I wore on our first date!” When he said that, something moved inside of me. But it was so slight and I was busy figuring out how I was going to fit a dozen bagels on one cutting board, so I let it come and go quickly.

Everyone arrived. Mimosas, bloody Marys, and Nespressos were poured, bagels and donuts and pastries were eaten, and Zac and I stole a few glances as if to say “Look at this! Hosting our first thing in our home!” It was so amazing to see everyone gathered and finding spots to sit and chat and exist comfortably in our home. My dad was lounging on the couch watching golf, my niece and nephew were coo’ing at all the attention they were getting, and we were just all shooting the shit per usual. It was at this moment that I turned around and saw Zac standing up. He motioned me over to him with his finger and the sweetest, happiest glimmer in his eye. We hugged and kissed, and I thought we were just sharing a super happy, proud moment as hosts. But he didn’t let go of my hand, and addressed the room with a very commanding, “SO.”

He started talking about how one of the greatest things about me is that I have such amazing family and friends. Almost immediately, his voice started to shake as he said “I am super nervous right now.” There is a full video of this moment (because Zac had told my dad it was happening and to record it) that I might share with you guys someday, so I won’t go line by line. Basically, you can see the exact moment in the video when I realize what’s happening. All I could do was cover my mouth with my hand in shock as Zac spoke and slowly got down onto one knee. Remember: NONE of my friends knew this was happening. Not even my sister or her wife. Just my mom and dad. So EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT. The best part of the video is hearing everyone lose it, looking at each other like “DID YOU KNOW?”

Zac asked me to be his wife, I squeaked out a yes, and then blacked out. No, not really. But kind of. In true Emma fashion, I broke out in a full body sweat and my hands were shaking. It was the most beautiful and overwhelming moment. So many hugs. So many tears. So much laughter. A lot of “WHAT THE FUCK?!” The rest of the day is a blur. Eventually, we decided we should probably go out to dinner alone to celebrate, which we did, and it was perfect. I have so much more to say about all of this, too. Like all my anxieties and doubts over the past 10 years leading up to this, what I’ve learned about myself from being with Zac for the last year and a half, just so much. But for now, I’m relishing in the newness of all of this. After all, we have the rest of our lives for me to get into the nitty-gritty of everything!

THE WEDDING

Just kidding. Are you high? It hasn’t even been a week! I know it’ll be in Dallas, and that’s about all I know. We want to ride the engagement wave as long as we can, but also know how these things work and that it’s never too soon to book a venue. I plan to ride this high as long as I can before wedding planning stress and anxiety comes to play, which we all know is around the corner for little ol’ me!

God, that is all so weird to write. I feel weird. I’m gonna go drink some wine. Love you guys so much.