There are two types of people in the world…
Those who own an agenda or planner in which they write down EVERYTHING and those who depend entirely on their gmail/Outlook calendar to keep their appointments and get them through life.
Those who actually recycle and those who are convinced it doesn’t get sorted anyway, so just throw it all in the same container.
Those who think La Croix is a delicious break from just plain ol’ water and those who clearly don’t get it.
Those who feel awkwardly obligated to walk and talk with you to the parking garage after work if you both happen to be leaving at the same time and those who understand just because you’re exiting together doesn’t mean it has to become anything more than just that.
Those who get how ridiculously delicious little Babybel cheeses are and those who haven’t lived.
Those who freely and genuinely compliment someone expecting nothing in return and those who can’t give a compliment to save their lives. Even if it’s to a bride on her wedding day. Or, worse, they tell the bride she “looks so cute!”
Those who truly enjoy replacing heavy, carby pasta with veggie noodles and those who do it because they know it’s the smarter choice but say “I mean, it isn’t pasta!” through the entirety of the meal.
Those who know about and follow the greatness that is the Dogs Being Basic Instagram account and those who just got the biggest treat of their week. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Those who understand and subsequently utilize Reddit and those who literally are so overwhelmed by it and just cannot (me).
Those who are #INTOIT when a Southern man on a dating app mentions “two-stepping” in his profile and those who are like HARD PASS TO THE LEFT BYEEEE.
Those who could sit and watch BuzzFeed Food videos all day and those who I guess have better shit to do but, like, what tho?
Those who shower diligently and those who find joy in discovering new ways to make it seem like you’re cleaner than you really are 😉
Those who bitmoji and those who want to but always forget about it and every time they try to, it doesn’t really deliver like they wanted it to.
Those who will wait an obscene amount of time for someone to pull out of a prime parking spot and those who just say “fuck it” and count the walk from the car to the destination as extra exercise.
Those who cherish the crust of every piece of pizza and those who are most likely mentally unstable (but also kinda awesome because I get to eat their unloved, discarded crust, so it’s kinda of a lose-win situation).
Those who are harmlessly nosey (more so curious than anything) and those who are maliciously nosey and dangerous with information.
Those who turn off every single light and lamp when they leave home for the day and those who leave just one small one on because, IDK, it just feels better that way.
Those who think spending $30+ on a candle is obscene and those who are aware of the high quality and overall delight expensive candles bring to the table or nightstand or coffee table or side table or bathroom or kitchen or…
Those who have best friends who will inspect oddities on your body that you can’t quite reach and those who have no real best friends and that’s sad.
Those who binge on a new show every few weeks/month and those who have lives and the means to live outside the boundary of their couch (wonder what that’s like…).
Those who bleach their upper lip hair and those who just go for it and get that shit waxed/threaded on the reg. Or those who do neither and need to be told to do one prolly.
Those who think Grimes’ voice is a combination of nails on a chalkboard/baby sobs/dying animals and those who love it (surprisingly, I’m the latter).
Those who decorate their cubes at work and those who refuse to share any part of their happiness or private life with outsiders.
Those who totally get it when I say “my eyes are stuck” and those who have no idea what I’m talking about.
Those who would choose something like mind reading or flying or telekinesis as a super power and those who would choose something like “being calm” or “not having anxiety.”
Those who consider a trip to Walgreens fun and those who don’t find endless rows of lotions and potions and things you don’t need super fun to browse and buy for no good reason.
Those who use the term “docket” whenever they can and those who should try it.
Those who love the 2 Girls, 1 Closet podcast and those who are dumb.