How to Literally Stop Giving a Fuck About What Anyone Thinks of You
Most of the time, if strangers find out I suffer from anxiety, they’re taken aback.
“But you seem so confident,” they say.
“I would’ve never guessed!” they exclaim.
If you’re a close friend of mine or a family member, you’re probably LOLing right now reading that.
My mom explained it to me once really well. She said something along the lines of, “You put out this perception that you’re incredibly confident and self-assured and cannot be fucked with, yet inside, you’re always wringing your hands.” That is the truth.
I’ve always been this very strange mix of boldly, extrovertedly (made that up) confident and a delicate, fragile flower who wonders if anyone actually likes them (AKA being a human?). This juxtaposition is truly who I am. One day, I am on top of the world, feeling impossibly cute, super cool, and like a bonafide badass. Later that day, I am wondering how long I’ve been this ugly, why anyone likes me, and imagining all the shit people talk.
In short, it’s a rollercoaster.
I’ve seen what my non-fans have said about me in the past. I made the grave mistake of searching my name on an infamous forum that anonymous people go to just to write out their most fucked up, harshest judgments about any and every influencer and blogger out there. Just pages and pages of strangers being next level snarky and just down right fucking evil. I’ve read how others perceive me and have been astounded at how much contempt and disgust they have for me. I’ve read that I look like a sausage. That I can’t keep a man. That my friends must all be as insufferable as me. That I get my horrifying personality for my mom (yes, they came for Ellen). That I’m very “LOOK AT ME!” which, like, yeah? That’s the point of being out there? That Zac and I were in a for world of hurt once the pandemic had passed and we were out of our romantic bubble in the real world. They were ready to watch with popcorn. LOL. Enjoying the show, bitches?
My point in sharing all this is that yes, seeing these things put me out for a day or so. It hurts. It sucks. It’s like how do these trolls somehow know exactly what to say to fuck me up and make me question everything? And why the fuck did I go looking for it? But most importantly, as my sister and Zac have asked in the past, why does it matter what these people say at all?
You know why you should literally stop giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of you? Because it doesn’t matter. You can do everything right, and people will still talk shit because, honestly? Talking shit is fun, and you can’t fight fun. You will always be too much for some people and not enough for others. People will always want you to do more. Say something else. Don’t say that at all. Show this. Skip that. Roll their eyes at your selfies. Not laugh at your jokes. Go out of their way to ensure you know they don’t like you. And guess what? It’s fine because THOSE AREN’T YOUR PEOPLE. Period. That’s it. That’s the only tool you need to stop giving a fuck about what ANYONE outside of YOUR people think about you.
^ That applies to friendships, too. I can guarantee you that if you spend your days trying to figure out what’s going to appeal to the masses, what’s not going to offend, what’s going to win over more people, what you could start or stop doing at the expense of your own personality, vibe, and happiness, you will be fucking miserable. Why do you think real, true, deep friendship and real, true, deep romantic love are so incredibly hard to come by? Because we are not built to appeal to the masses. You are not made to get along with everyone and not everyone is made to like you, so do what you want. Post what you want. Act how you want. Say what you want. And stop giving away your fucks to people who aren’t your people. It’s that simple.
