Everyone Feels Like A Loser

With the onslaught of memes that celebrate cancelled plans, being a couch potato, and delighting in early nights, it got me thinking a la Carrie Bradshaw (but with way higher body fat percentage and about half as many shoes): does everyone feel like a loser? The answer is an inarguable, resounding YES. 

If we want to get specific, it was this very meme that shook me to my core and "woke" me because of its accuracy:

It was one of those moments that makes you say "OMFG" out loud as you sit straight up on your couch on a Friday night in your sweatpants with an empty ice cream dish chilling on the arm of the couch and fresh food stains on your shirt while The Office (a show you've now rewatched at least four times) plays in the background. I started sizing myself up instantaneously. I like to drink. Eat. Cook. Sometimes bake. Watch TV? Walk my dog? Hang out with friends when we're all not being lame and lazy? Pop my zits? Waste entire days googling new products and adding things to cart? Spend hours folded over my phone like the hunchback of Notre Dame, laughing at memes and group texts on my phone? It was as I ran down this list in my head that I realized:

OMG. I AM A FUCKING LOSER. 

I do nothing fun or worthwhile. The way I choose to spend my free time is lamer than lame. There's nothing that interesting or exciting about me. I don't jet set every weekend or climb mountains on the reg. Hell, I rarely venture outside my home anymore unless food is involved.  I, Emma Golden, am a loser.

But here's the thing — we all feel that way. It's my belief that the majority of everyday people feel like boring losers, and we should take solace in that. It's why people like myself capitalize on the very rare moments in life that aren't boring. It's why I take pictures and post Snaps (rarely anymore, though) and Instagram stories (all the time now) of my every brunch, nature-centric walk, or out of town jaunt (usually to Chicago) because OMG LOOK — I'M ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING NOT BORING. I AM SO INTERESTING AND COOL AND FUN AND MY LIFE IS FULL OF ADVENTURE AND HAPPINESS. MAYBE I'M NOT A LOSER AFTER ALL!

But I am. And so are you. The majority of us are lame, lazy, boring people. It's nothing to be ashamed about; it's just the truth. No one does anything, guys. No one is ever really doing anything. It may look like they are, sure. It's easy to make your life seem chockfull of friends, laughter, and perfectly stylized shots of food, but deep down in the darkest crevices of their soul, even those people are like "God, I'm boring."

I can't tell you how many people say things to me like "Ugh, I'm so jealous of your life. It looks so fun" or "You're always out and about!" Do you know what my response is to them? "HA! No. I just play up those few moments in my week or month that don't involve me at home. Alone. With my dog. Listening to podcasts, cleaning, and probably farting a lot." 

And here's the other thing: even if someone's life really is that interesting and full of activities that make you feel like you're the biggest bore this side of the Mississippi, do you honestly think they're satisfied? Have you ever stopped to wonder why they feel the need to always be constantly doing something? Maybe they're not very happy. Maybe they hate themselves. Maybe the thought of being alone with themselves at home with their own thoughts and feelings terrifies them, so they fill their time up with tons of distractions to convince themselves they're living their best life (or maybe they're a trust fund baby or young millionaire who can afford to be out and about and away whenever they please. Those people can go fuck themselves).

I think the older we get, the more we struggle internally with whether or not we want to be "boring" or "fun." Sure, when you're in your mid-20s, FOMO is a real condition that can be incredibly debilitating if you let it. You give into it more often than not until you start realizing, "Wow. I came out for this? I could be home right now, in my bed watching Netflix and going balls deep into a complete stranger's Instagram." Slowly but surely, you grasp how rarely anything that worthwhile happens when you "go out," so you start staying in. A lot. And making plans that actually appeal to you and are on your own time. In short, your priorities shift. Getting dolled up to go to some crowded bar on a Friday night becomes laughable. Signing up for a trip with people you aren't nuts about just to say you went somewhere and did something becomes a horrific thought. Wasting precious time at a post-work happy hour becomes a fruitless and idiotic idea. 

But (and this is important) just because you aren't doing those things that at one point in your life you considered fun, doesn't mean you're boring! In fact, it means you're grown and mindful and more attune to what makes you happy. You've learned that time is precious, and you're not about to waste it on doing a bunch of crap that in no way appeals to you. Therefore, you're not lame — you're just a conscientious person who knows what they like and dislike and who constitutes a Friday night in with one hand comfortably resting down your pants and one shoveling snacks into your face an evening well-spent. And if that makes all of us fucking losers, SO BE IT.

P.S. You know what would make you less of a loser? If you signed up for my weekly newsletter ☺️ You're gonna be on your couch anyway, so why not browse OOTDs, fun articles/videos/music, and things I Can't each week? DO IT.

xox,