I'm Not A Feminist, But...
I wouldn't call myself a feminist. That's never how I would choose to define myself, my beliefs, my everyday actions. I say this, of course, assuming that you ignorantly define a feminist by a man-hating, cargo shorts wearing, non-shaving woman. Because, let me assure you, I love men (and hate them), I love lipstick a lot, and I actually love and relish in the expectation from society that I should know how to cook and do laundry (because I love doing both). However. HOWEVER.
That chunk of verbal gold smack in the middle of Yoncé's "Flawless" gets me every time. No matter where I am when when that track comes on - be it my home, my car, five minutes into the gym wanting to just sit down and give up - it always makes me stop and listen and think. I don't know if it's the woman's oddly mannish voice or her gorgeously accented African lilt, but the delivery is prime and makes each word impossibly captivating.
Don't know what the hell I'm talking about and are now fully convinced I'm high? Well, I don't smoke pot so joke's on you.
Here's the monologue I'm hitting on, in full:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.”
Of course, this incredible, eye-opening, thought-provoking insight is from a world renown feminist, who goes by the name Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. And, of course, she said all this and so much more during a TED Talk because why wouldn't she? Watch the entire 30 minutes and get learnt. She's hilarious and smart as can be. Bow down, bitches:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc