ain’t no sunshine… WAIT! BUT THERE IS!

finally, the sun is out and shining. wait, wouldn’t it shine regardless? whatever, shut up.

i was getting pretty concerned that dallas was warping into kansas, my second home. i was also starting to feel guilty like all this unusual dallas winter was my fault for graduating from KU and bringing it back with me. oy, thank BAH-GAH i was wrong.

i hope the weather stays as is. you can just smell the difference outside – what used to smell like cold, rain, snow and a little bit of crack now smells like love, life, sex and chocolate! “my 3 weaknesses? men, shoes and chocolate – in THAT order!” hahahaha.

GO OUT AND ENJOY LIFE, PEOPLE! GO! BE FREE! I RELEASE THEE OF THE CHAINS OF WINTER! and i grant you all 3 wishes. here, i’ll make them for you: that somehow all of our work establishments have no choice but to give us all summer vacations, we all lose 10 pounds instaneously and we all individually trip over huge piles of money. WHAT WHATTTTT.


girls like pretty girls

so the other day at work, my female coworker started talking about how she goes out of her way to befriend and be overly nice to pretty women she meets because if she doesn’t befriend them, she’ll end up hating them because they’re so pretty. as i listened to her admit all of this all i could think was…


i mean, really though. think about it. girls are jealous by nature. we’re evil bitches and if someone is really pretty or has an obvious something going on for them, we have 2 choices: we can either make them our bff or hate their guts and make up lots of slutty, nasty stories about them in our heads (or to our other friends). so, although it sounds catty and awful, this coworker of mine was so right.

and the other part of the equation is that girls like having pretty friends. none of us can deny that. no girl wants to be walking around with a sub-par looking posse. we want friends who are at the same level of attractiveness as us so we a) all look good together and b) can just bask in each other’s prettiness. not really, but i KNOW you know what i’m sayin.

here’s to being bitches…innately.