There Are 34 Types Of People In The World

Y’all, hey! It’s been a hot minute. I was on a roll there for a while (a hot, buttery, flaky, crispy croissant if you will), but seeing as though I fell ill with a monster cold a few weeks ago, I lost steam. Being that sick brought to light something I’ve always known but easily forget because I rarely get commonly ill (i.e. it’s not often that I get sick with a cold or the flu. I’m more of a random eye infection/sudden body rash/literal gut-wrenching stomach bacteria type of gal): I’m a fucking baby when I’m sick. When my throat and nose stop functioning properly, and I’m chained to a couch or bed with only tissues and cold medicine to call my friends, I am a child. 

That being said, it made me think “there are two types of people in the world…” Therefore, here we go:

There are two types of people in the world…

Those who are children when they’re sick and those who are mature, self-sufficient, rational people.

Those who blow their nose at their desk openly and loudly and those who are much better people than the latter and have self-awareness and self-respect (but like, honestly, if I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to blow my nose the last week or so, I basically would’ve lived in there and had to work from a stall, surrounded by pee and shit. So.).

Those who’ve discovered and realized the sheer beauty and majesty of The Great British Baking Show and those who need to get on it because you are missing some of the most relaxing and joyful television this side of the Thames. 

Those who say “Ugh, my hair is SO frizzy” and those with legitimately frizzy/curly/wavy hair (👋🏼) who look at them like this:

Those who stand at their desks all day and those who have the option to but realize they actually fucking hate standing at their desk.

Those who recognize how great ASOS is (especially for affordable swimsuits) and those who need to get their heads out of their dirty butt holes. 

Those who hit snooze no less than 12 times yesterday morning due to the time change and robot monsters.

Those who say “Hi” to others in the morning and those who will never say it back to you and just want you to leave them alone and stop acting so chipper until at least 11am (me).

Those who can go into Target and leave with exactly what they went in for in the first place and the other 99% of the population (I went in for an onion last night and left with $100 worth of pillows, but COTDAMN my living room looks cute):

Those who get Frappuccinos or something like it from Starbucks and consider themselves “coffee drinkers” and not idiots.

Those who give out more likes when they’re in a good mood and more stable people who don’t let their mood affect their ability to double-tap a photo (not me).

Those who still like Matt Bellassai (“Whine About It” dude from Buzzfeed) and those who saw him perform stand-up and lost all respect, interest, and capability to laugh with him (this was last summer, but I never wrote about it. It was the most obnoxious show I’ve ever seen, and I haven’t been able to follow him since).

Those who love tacos and fucking weirdos who think they’re just okay and not really a staple go-to and who have no place in the world. Go away.

Those who are faced with a table of leftover, free food at work and will eat some of it regardless of when and what they just ate and those who have unshakeable self-control when it comes to free cold pizza and sad but delicious looking free bread rolls. 

Those who eat lunch every day at noon on the dot and those who save it for later because they know it makes the afternoon seem shorter.

Those who react to every dog they ever see like it’s an miracle angel child of love and happiness and soulless ingrates. 

Those who hate CVS and everything it stands for and those who I guess love unorganized, ugly, confusing, aesthetically displeasing chaos.

WHICH PERSON ARE YOU?

xox,

Into It, Vol. 6

I’ve been making a list and checking it twice and now you’re gonna find out what I’m into this week (so sorry that sentence didn’t end how you probably expected it to, but hey — that’s life).

Into it: AVOCADO OIL

I didn’t know this was a thing, did you? If you did, bravo. I guess you’re way more in the know than the rest of peasants. But if you didn’t know, THIS IS A THING. It all came to light when my best friend and I took a pasta & pasta sauce cooking class the other week (she got it for us for Christmas. What a good Jew, right?). As the somewhat aloof and scatterbrained instructor was talking us through fresh pesto (child’s play), she made mention that she doesn’t necessarily always use EVOO. In fact, she rarely does because it can create such a bitter taste in most anything you use it in. “So what oil do you use then?” I inquired. “I mean, there are so many cooking oils you can use but I personally love using avocado oil.” “Wait, what’s up?” I asked. “Yeah! It’s the same calorically as EVOO, but the health benefits are much greater and the taste is way better, too.”

It was in that moment that my world changed forever. After researching her claims, I realized the minx wasn’t lying and ordered myself a bottle off (duh) Amazon, and let me tell y’all — AVOCADO OIL IS LIT. It truly does offer a better taste and makes your chicken that word everyone hates (rhymes with hoist) (it’s moist). Not to mention the health benefits! Antioxidants, vitamins, and other stuff — oh my! I’m never going back to EVOO. Never. Not even if there’s a fire.

INTO IT: GAP BRALETTES

If you know me, you probably have no idea that I love bralettes as much as I do because the one thing I’ve always strayed from is posting pictures of my chest and how I hold it up each day. But now you know — I. LOVE. BRALETTES. And hate bras. Hate. Underwire and hooks and structure send me into a blind rage. I mean, I wear them because I have a larger chest (yes, really. I just hide it most days) so I know they’re necessary sometimes, but I hate every second of it. My bralette collection outnumbers my real bra collection by a lot. All that said, I am constantly drawn to and on the hunt for new bralettes (they’re sort of like jeans for me. I forget how many I actually have and just constantly buy new ones and then am like “Jesus, I have way too many jeans/bralettes.” Then I buy more). 

GAP is my go-to for a lot but has never been my first instinct when it comes to lingerie ’cause IDK… It’s GAP? HOWEVER, my world changed forever (again) upon discovering they just threw their proverbial hat in the bralette ring and created THIS:

The lace. The underboob band. All the colors they offer. IT’S PERFECT. I ordered two, squealed with delight upon wearing each, and ordered a third. If you are high on bralettes like me, get some of these today (GAP is literally 40% off almost every day, so you have no excuse). It’s the perfect one, truly. Buyer’s note: Wash them on delicate and hang-dry them. They’re delicate shits and you’ll screw up the detailing and lace if you try to tumble dry low like an asshole. 

INTO IT: BBG, agAIN

I tried to try something new. Something different. After five rounds (that’s 60 weeks (or 15 months)) of Kayla Itsines’ Bikini Body Guide, I decided I had plateaued in my progression and needed to mix it up. I was getting bored as one tends to in any long-lasting relationship. However, I only lasted a few months before realizing I needed BBG back in my life. Lifting more weights was cool, but there’s something about BBG that my body just responds to better. The structure of the workouts, the throwing my body around via plyometrics, and the built-in consistency are it for me. So here I am again — back for a 6th round. And I just want to say to anyone who’s curious that this program is so very doable and so very worth the money whether you are a beginner with working out or a gym rat. It’s built for every type of person and body type: the already fit, the overweight, the skinny-fat, the just a few pounds to lose, the cardio lovers who need more structure, etc. And the best part? The online BBG community provides an enthusiastic, supportive troop of accountability buddies who all promote why you should #SCREWTHESCALE. If you don’t believe me, check out some of these amazing BBG transformations via Instagram: Andrenna Taylor, Kelly Allen, Gem, Sophie, Juliana. ARE YOU INSPIRED YET?

INTO IT: EVERLANE T-SHIRTS

The other weekend, I went to “throw on” a white tee and had an a-ha moment. “Wow. All my white tees are cheap, misshapen, discolored, and the worst.” I literally tried on about five and chucked most of them in the garbage (not even people in need would be okay with the atrocities that were those tees). It was then I decided I needed to buckle down on the basics and stop throwing away money on temporary, cheap tees from places like XXI. So I channeled one of my longtime followers turned Internet friend (Harben Porter) and her minimal, capsule closet approach and decided on Everlane

This line’s simple, beautiful, minimal approach is so sexy, and I knew I could find my new favorite tee if I focused and ordered a lot to try on. So I did. I ordered four different styles of plain t-shirts, tested them all out, and landed on my new favorite throw-on tee, a straightforward crew neck that will most likely serve best underneath jackets and sweaters, and a solid v-neck. I did it, you guys. And you can, too. I believe in you.

INTO IT: SCHITT’S CREEK

Eugene Levy. Catherine O’Hara. Need I say more? No, but I will. My parents actually turned me onto this show. I don’t always trust their show recos because they have the tendency to get super hyped about a new show then drop it like a hot potato. They’re the fuckboys of TV. Anyhoo, they carried on so much about this show and how phenomenal Eugene Levy’s son, Daniel, is and how I’d really like it. So, one lonely Sunday, I dove in and lemme tell ya — I’m glad I listened (for once).

It’s a funny plot: super wealthy family who lose everything except for a town the dad (Eugene) bought his son (Daniel) as a joke called Schitt’s Creek, so they have no choice but to take up residency in the local motel and try to assimilate to the town’s culture. It’s an easy watch, really entertaining, pretty funny, and Daniel Levy is so gay and so gorgeous, it hurts. So, if for nothing else, watch for the Levy eyebrows. They alone are worth it.

The end! What are Y’ALL into on this list or in your own lives?!

xox,