i can’t.

i figured it was due time for a post that not only explains the phrase “i can't” but also promotes it. i want all of you to start saying it AT LEAST once a day if not way, way more. it's such a versatile phrase, it's like how could you not find usage for it at least 15 times an afternoon?

looking back, i can't really remember exactly how the phrase came to be how it is today. it seems so simple: “i can't” but it's not that easy. you have to say it with the right tone, the right hand movements and the right facial expression. but before we get into the staging of the phrase, i guess i should explain exactly what it means.

i can't means i can't. i can't speak. i can't talk. i can't handle what you're telling me. i can't understand what you mean. i can't even think of anything to say to you because what you just told me is too upsetting. i can't talk about this one guy because he gives me a raging lady boner i cannot control. i can't even look your dog in the face because it's so adorable, i can feel my heart melting. i can't look again because that outfit is too awesome/too upsetting. I JUST CAN'T, OKAY? i can't means EVERYTHING.

you can say it however you want as long as you know why you're saying it, which is typically because you can't form words to say other than “i can't.” i feel like you probably need some visuals. here are a handful of ways you COULD look while saying “i can't.” if you don't look similar to one of these pictures, keep trying. you're not doing it right.

“i can't” expression 1

“i can't” expression 2

“i can't” expression 3
(this is one of the more upset expressions)

“i can't” expression 4
(this one's super serious – i'm not fucking around when i use this one. I CAN'T, SO STOP)

as you probably took note of, more often than not my face is in a downturned smile of some sort. i've found that the frown face really adds something to the entire tone of the phrase. it's like topping off an already sassy phrase with a splash of disgust and disapproval OR if you're saying the positive kind of “i can't,” the frown face makes it that much more canty.
do you get it now? i really hope you do, because i promise that by somehow intertwining it into your everyday speech you will feel so much more fulfilled and better understood. you won't ever again have to think of something to say when you have nothing to say at all. just say “i can't.”
still confused on exactly how “i can't” is supposed to sound and look? no fear. here's a :15 video i compiled of all the various ways to express the phrase perfectly. enjoy:

“i can't”

go! go yonder and spread the word of canting!

side note: if you still love red hot chili peppers or think that How I Met Your Mother is a funny/good show…

have a great day, y'all.

– emma